Danubia

I let her uneasily slip the flash drive into my computer (after teaching her the 1st time) and slowly move the mouse to make a document scroll, remembering to not take for granted my exposure to technology. When we made chocolate chip cookies and it made me smile watching an adult so awkwardly scoop the raw cookie batter onto the pan in rows too close together. Hers it the first baby I’ve ever felt move in the womb and it happened the day she was diligently checking my head for lice, even though she definitely had other things to do.


She’s is 6 years older than I am, though much wiser. She from a small town 10 miles away and she came to the Ranch when she was my age, expecting to stay for a year before she entered college. She’s still here, and since then she has managed to start taking university classes on the weekends, fall in love with one of the older kids, get married and now she continues to work as a caregiver to these children while her belly grows with her own baby. At times I wonder if it’s bad for her to have such an active/stressful job while pregnant, but then I watch the kids pat her stomach or tell her belly goodnight and I realize this child is probably getting more love in the womb than most.


I marvel at the way Danubia treats the children and I continually find myself following her example. I would love to be more like her: her investment in the education and general wellbeing of the kids, her patience when they are just looking for a power struggle, the diligence and energy she brings to mundane tasks, and her calm and creative way of solving problems. She works incredibly hard and the only complaint I ever hear is an occasional admission of tiredness as we walk away from hogar after a particularly long day. Our ages would suggest that we are peers, but she has an understanding of these kids and reality that surpasses mine considerably.


I really admire her. I sometimes tell her thank you, but she always looks at me like I’m crazy. Not because she is unappreciative, but because she really feels like she’s giving nothing. But what I have also learned through my relationship through Danubia is that one can give a lot without feeling like they are giving much at all. So I’ve learned to repay in her other little ways.


The first time was early on, when she asked me to type of a paper she had written for a class. Those were the days when the kids still asked for everything I owned and I was wary of doing any favors since I didn’t want to be taken advantage of. But I agreed and our alliance began. My role sometimes takes the form of looking up information on the internet for her homework assignments. In the time it would take her to one-finger type “google” I will have probably already found what she needs. And when she was taking statistics last semester, I was thankful to have taken my one college class in that if solely for the purpose of being able to sit up at night teaching Danubia hers. She always very graciously thanks me for my assistance, but I’m sure I look at her the same way she looks at me when I say thank you … because it’s really not a big deal.


She doesn’t want to change the world. And she’ll never receive much recognition for the things she does for these kids, but those are often the people who deserve it the most. She constantly is making a difference in who these children are becoming. There have been a number of people who have crossed my path whom I will always feel more indebted to them than they will to me. For all of the small, unspoken, and subtle things I have gained from my relationship with Danubia, her name will be going on that list.